Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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