Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
