"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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