at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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