I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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