i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
