It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Holy sore nipples Batman
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
