she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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