Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
