I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Randomize
