Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
