I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
