somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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