I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
