if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Randomize
