Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
