You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
