so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
