Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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