Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
