i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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