did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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