He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
