I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I need moral support for this bender
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
