I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
