Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
