He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
