HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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