Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize