Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
nutella sex= disaster
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
