She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
