Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
