Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
