Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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