You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
