watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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