K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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