I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
