so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
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