He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
