I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
