okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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