It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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