It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I deserve this hangover.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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