He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
