Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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