I hope mine doesn't look like that
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
