no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
How naked do you want me to be?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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