i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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