can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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