but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
