Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
time to smoke my breakfast
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
